‘Sankalp, Padai n Empowerment’

‘A story of never giving up’ is the experience that I had in 2019. It’s a long-awaited blog, worth writing.

Life is unpredictable…

Is a lesson…

Is about learning…

Is an experience to be shared…

Is to be grateful…

Is the determination to live life on your terms…

Is living every moment…

Is a full circle…

Is amazing, enjoy it, live it, explore it, cherish it…

Feminism with each stage has evolved in its definition. From a broader perspective, Feminism means empowering each one, irrespective of gender, age, caste, or religion. For most of us, Education is the tool to liberate and thus to empower. But with my experience, more than being educated, it’s the mental strength that empowers one to achieve what they desire. Seeing many educated succumbing to the circumstances, and many uneducated sailing through the diverse situations they face in life, I realized Education gives you hope, but to achieve what you aspire to, you need to have mental strength.

The strong-willed women I met had something in common with my thought of being educated, strong-willed, and thus empowered. I met them at a place, people think of as the end of the purpose of their lives the ‘Old age homes’. Maybe a part of it is true. The purpose is not in their actions but in the idea of sharing their beliefs and empowering all around them. And for us, me and my two psychology students each room uncovered a story. A story of determination and belief in oneself. This blog is a medium to share their stories. As our generation who loses hope and falls into depression with the mere thought of failing and being fooled by someone needs to know their stories.

They have looked after their families, children are grown up with their children about to have a firm footing in their respective fields and lives, they are left alone in this 10×10 feet rooms. And surprisingly to this we also met here the women, who were and are still a free spirit. They led a life of strong-willed, English-speaking women, born a decade or more before independent India. As solo travellers around India, they believed in not giving in and agreeing to the whole idea of the institution of marriage.

‘What you think is what you do. What you say is what you mean’, are the words by Asha Puri famously known as ‘Kahani wali aunty’ (Storyteller). With not being dependent on anyone, emotionally or financially, she is the one who asked us to be determined of what we want to achieve in our lives. With two Master’s degrees each in English and Music, and years of experience in teaching, she has strong political views and statements. She shared her experience, of how her father was not happy with her decision of remaining an unapologetic free spirit. When asked do you miss companionship in your life, the reply comes prompt, ‘this was my decision and I’m happy with it. Once the decision made should not be regretted later.’ For her determination is the key to success and happiness.

Not willing to explore much out of her room, did not stop Asha from having all the updates on other inmates. Although she doesn’t enjoy being with her inmates, she enjoys going out for events at JNU, Colleges at DU, and other prestigious institutions. While sharing the experience of traveling all on her own, brings a smile on her fair wrinkled face. With a dimple on her right cheek and a twinkle in her eyes, she shares that ‘Golgappas is my first love and watching the news is a feed to my ever-evolving brain’. ‘Believe in yourself and live life to the fullest is her mantra to a happy and content life. ‘Never do wrong to anyone’, she firmly believed in.

Meeting and listening to her experiences one learns, that we are solely responsible for our happiness in our lives, and how one should take responsibility for their decisions. Asha encouraged my students to continue their studies and have strong ideologies of their own. ‘Only a strong character makes a strong-willed person’, are her wise words to us.

How many brother-sister you have? Where do you live? What are your subjects of study? Were the questions Sita, the other inmate from old age home repetitively asked? Sita has soft features with a cute and sharp face, all white hairs tied in a pony, with shivering thin lips, but clear and strong voice remarkably without forgetting, recited ‘Hanuman Chalisa’ leaving us speechless. As Sita aged, her memories too faded, but never failed to mention that, how she struggled in her teens for being a hardcore studious child. Even her father’s anger and scolding didn’t discourage her from continuing studies. Her well-settled educated children mirrors, Sita’s passion for reading and studying. Typical to those times, getting married at young age and mother of five, she always encouraged her children to study hard and succeed. As doctors, lawyers, and serving at authoritative positions her children are all settled in India, U.S., and Germany.

Sita shared with my students her timeless belief, ‘Khoob pado, kyunki padai hum apne liye karte hain aur sirf humari hoti hain’ (Complete your studies and this is the only unconditional thing that we do for ourselves). I was amazed and zapped. As this was something, I’ve been telling people around that how ‘education’ is something that we do only for ourselves and for our growth. This is something that no one can steal from us. Sita then 89, born more than a decade before independence, fought for her right to education in a mediocre family of the time, where education as a broader term, in itself was exploring its roots in the Indian subcontinent. With her undying passion for education, ‘determination’ is the term for her. She lived her dream through her children and whenever given an opportunity she instills the passion in one she meets.

Women of few words Sunanda 85, has posed a profound impact on us. Suffering from dementia, Sunanda is been taken care of by a nurse. As an unmarried independent free spirit woman, she is devoted to Sai Baba. She does not entertain any discussion which she feels is meaningless. When I started the conversation by asking her name, Sunanda questioned me, ‘Do you go to school?’. With her big sharp eyes and unclear yet loud voice and with the gesture of her hands pointing towards three of us, she asked to nurse, ‘They don’t go to school? Why they’ve come here? Why they are wasting time? Ask them to go to school and study’.

As a nurse, she had to know the history of her patient. She briefed us about Sunanda, as a highly educated person, who was serving in a Government Sector. She has traveled around India and speaks mostly in English. And this free spirit woman, with determination, has lived her life on her terms. Engaging her in further conversation, we assured her that we’ll go to school and study. She blessed us by saying ‘Khoob pado, Khush raho’ (study hard and be happy). We gave her a paper to write something for us. With her shivering hands, she wrote, ‘Khush Raho’ and signed it as Sunanda. Even with her unclear writing, broken and unrecognizable letters, she gave a very strong message of education as the means to empower oneself.

Irrespective of their medical conditions, age, experience, and diverse situations these women had one thing in common was the term ‘Education’, a synonym of which in our native Hindi is ‘Padai’. For them, the expression of the term may vary, but not its impression in one’s life. They all associated a bigger word to the term ‘Education’ is ‘Empowerment’.

These empowered women have brought hope within the confined walls of a very narrow term ‘Old age home’. Our interaction with them had brought fresh new hope, positivity, and humility in our thoughts toward life. ‘Blessing in Disguise’ is how our visit to old age home had turned out. Hope (happiness, opportunity, perseverance, and emotions) and determination have changed ours, or I’ll say at least my way of seeing, experiencing, and living life. And these comes from within, you’ve to look within for all the answers that life poses for you. Take the opportunity give your best, even if you fail, learn from it and go for it again, till you succeed. Because it’s you who is responsible for how your life is turning into. And yes you’ll surely succeed.

Life is Music

Making a mark of our existence in this busy and self-indulgent world around us arouses anxiety within. As an aspiring new breed, this either gives us the strength to create our niche or just makes us surrender to the demands of oppressive elements. Our choice determines ‘what life is’ for us and how ‘we define it’ as. Whichever path we take there are lows and highs that we go through. Life is never consistent. Is it just the ‘highs’ a ‘desired life’ that has been conditioned and determined by all, defines life for us? Or is it the ‘low’ that gives us an insight into the real, and helps us define our definition of ‘highs’ in life? The latter, questions the significance of ‘life’ as a whole and ‘the self’ as an ever-evolving part of it.

To this, one answer that truly signifies the uncertainties of life is the ‘musical notes’. The combination of both high and low musical notes creates a harmonious rhythm. Like music, if we as human starts to accept and resolve the striking difference between the low and highs of life, we will be able to create a positive balanced life for ourselves. As it is both high and lows together, that unite to make life as a whole. ‘Life’ as a word is too short, but when expressed is infinite and can only be determined in its true essence when defined with both success and failures.

Failures are like stepping stones and preliminary lessons to excel in life. To say, for me these failures define us as individuals. Rather than mourning our failures, learning and evolving from them, makes us an individual beings. And with the individual choice of not aiming to achieve the highest but to achieve the best one can perform, we can make our presence worthy to the world around us. It is worth living a life beyond loss and grief. Appreciate what you have as life has major goals to achieve. One just needs to identify them.

Quarantine…..

Quarantine is a new word for all of us. Is that so?

Maybe this is for the first time a word is globally been referred, to with unity and harmony?

Consciously, Yes. And subconsciously, No.

We as humans have been practicing the word in the physical world unconsciously. We have been existing in self-quarantine. Confining to self. And it’s time to re-access our own inner-self.

Quarantining, ‘Need and Power’.

Quarantining, ‘Religion and Gender’.

Quarantining, ‘Dominance and Luxury’.

The existence of self is valued more than Society and Nature.

Let’s sit back, think, and re-evaluate our existence and approach to life.

Nature is supreme of all, early in our existence we worshipped celestial bodies, rivers, air, fire, and earth, as they could not be controlled. And with the need to control, we the greedy creatures tried to take control of all.

We started to evolve as beings, who with power controlled everything, even our own breed. Non-living, non-human, religion, casteism, and gender specifications were structured to control co-exists, and beings were quarantined to each structure.

All around the Globe, wars of dominance were fought to conquer and rule the weak and uncivilized. As it was propagated by the ones in power.

Freedom gave luxury to humans. Their greed to acquire and achieve more, made them backstab those existing around them. Letting others down, made few humans feel superior to others.

The sense of achieving superiority over others has always been existing in humans. This sense of success is a feeling of ‘Quarantining the Power’ over others.

Unfortunately, the virus ‘Corona’ has given us this break to re-evaluate our existence.

For now, we have succumbed to the situation we are in. But, once the pandemic will be over, the human instinct of being in power will resurface and will celebrate victory and achieve a sense of superiority.

But this time, we must act as the word ‘Human’ in the true sense means. It means being compassionate. Compassion towards the weak, underprivileged, and others in rough times. The act of looking beyond ourselves and bringing a positive change around would make us feel and celebrate Power in its real sense.

Time and again nature will question our existence, in its own unfamed ways. Centuries back in our early years of existence, nature gave us the opportunity to co-exist. Now it’s our turn to love and respect the existence of others along.

Life is the only hope in the time of Corona Quarantine. Let us hope to meet and greet as better Humans on the other side of the time.